I see... a purple ABERDEEN ANGUS

age: unknown
nationality: Scottish
type of visitor: unique
eating: nope -- just jumping about
drinking: filter coffee

The purple Aberdeen Angus jumping around in front of a cameraman attracts my attention, so I politely interrupt it and explain that I am a blogger with a commission to ask searing philosophical questions about great contemporary issues. "What's with the cow jumping around thing?" I ask. A very nice man emerges from the backside of the purple Aberdeen Angus to explain that he and his cow are connected to FRENZY, a Christian Music Festival that takes place in Edinburgh on June 6th. My understanding of the world is marginally enhanced. The very nice man re-enters the backside of the purple Aberdeen Angus. The purple Aberdeen Angus goes nuts.

I go for a curry, feeling mildly disoriented.

I bump into... film-maker EVA

age: 22
nationality: Scottish
type of visitor: regular
drinking: tea
eating: chocolate & raisin cake

If you have several thousand pounds to spare, and maybe a talented grandmother too, then film-maker Eva Riley might like to hear from you. She's shooting her next project on film rather than digital - mm, expensive - and she's auditioning for a woman of mature years to play the Italian grandmother of a boxer...

Winner of Napier University Short Film Competition, Eva's previous films include Close, about a middle-aged man with ambiguous motives for inviting a younger man into his home (note to self - stop inviting younger male friends to my house) and a documentary about the 50-year connection between artist Violet Williamson and the Edinburgh College of Art.

I don't know Eva well, but whenever I bump into her I feel energised by her friendliness and enthusiasm. Today she's refining her script; I love people's notebooks and scripts so I take a sneaky photograph of the work-in-progress...

Eva talks about the compromises she'd have to make if she went into the mainstream film industry, her hopes to study film further in San Francisco, and her dark secret - she used to work here. The staff at the Elephant House are full of artistic surprises...

I talk to... STEPHEN and DREW

ages: 22 and 27
nationality: English and US
type of visitor: I forgot to ask
drinking: coke, water
eating: "a kind of rice-crispies chocolate cake thing"

Stephen and Drew are engaged in passionate conversation about a shared interest; I like the creative tension in their interplay as they probe, challenge, disagree, agree, agree to disagree. I hear the words "idiom", "framing", and I feel sure that they are writers of some sort, but then I hear "Mike Leigh", "shots" and "Isabella Rossellini".

They tell me they're postgraduates in Film Studies at Edinburgh University. Stephen wants to go into media journalism (that sounds like a tautology, but I presume it means media about media), while Drew intends to become an academic. I ask them questions, and they answer openly. But although there's something about the energy of their talk that has attracted my interest in them, there's something about the attraction of my interest in them that has killed the energy of their talk. I retreat, sheepishly, to behind the barrier of my laptop screen. Soon they've forgotten me, and here come the words again: "trilogy", "scenarios", "dual-personality".

Just before they leave I ask Drew to recommend his "best films". He goes for Hitchcock's Vertigo and Robert Altman's Images and 3 Women.

I bump into... tango dancers ADAM and SHEILA

age: I didn’t ask, but they’re looking good
nationality: English and Scottish
type of visitor: once a week
drinking: two cappuccinos - each!
eating: nothing

I stumbled across the tango scene in Edinburgh 18 months ago, and immediately became obsessed with it. Famous attempts to describe tango include “a vertical expression of a horizontal desire”, "the happiness of being sad" and "having an affair for three minutes".

Adam and Sheila have been tango-ing much longer than me, and dance much better. They often dance together. Sheila and I don’t dance together much because I'm a bit tall for her (being a tall man is not an advantage in tango) but when we do dance I am always struck with her fluid, graceful movements.

Fancy giving tango in Edinburgh a whirl? Here’s how to go about it:

1/ Ascend the mysterious red stairs of The Counting House, on West Nicolson Street (google map here), on any Sunday at 5.45pm – there’s a free lesson for total beginners every week.

2/ After the free lesson, hang around for a couple of hours – or all evening – to watch the experienced dancers. The best of them will get across how beautiful tango can be.

3/ Hooked already? There are social dances every Sunday, Tuesday and Wednesday, and practice evenings every Monday and Friday (details at Edinburgh Tango Society). And you will need classes, lots of them, for years. It’s a couple of months before the follower (generally but not always a woman) can dance well enough to inspire pleasure rather than endurance in her partner, and it’s about six months before the leader (generally but not always a man) can dance in a way that isn't hell for his partner.

One more thing – if your idea of tango is two people with roses in their teeth prancing around like highly strung poodles, think again. Real tango is an intimate, improvised social dance. See you in The Counting House...